Assumptions, Bagels, and Behavior: Notes from an ITC Workshop in Boston
Recently I spent three days in Boston at the Immunity to Change (ITC) Facilitator Workshop, and it was the kind of learning experience that sneaks up on you — like realizing the “quick” muffin you grabbed actually has the caloric ambition of a wedding cake. Coaches, leaders, and consultants flew in from all over the world to do something deceptively simple: map the beliefs that keep smart people stuck. It was intense, practical, a little humbling, and extremely energizing.
If you haven’t met ITC before, here’s the one‑liner: it’s a structured way to surface the hidden commitments and big assumptions that quietly block our best intentions. Think of it as upgrading your internal operating system rather than fighting with glitchy apps. It’s not therapy and it’s not a pep talk. It’s a map — literal columns on paper — that shows how your very smart mind protects you from change it believes might be risky.
Our cohort included managers, HR leaders, therapists, educators, and a handful of strategy folks like me. Between sessions, conversations bounced from Tel Aviv to Tokyo to Melbourne. Everyone brought a different context, but the same pattern kept appearing: the behavior we’re trying to change isn’t the problem; it’s the bodyguard for a belief we haven’t questioned yet. Once you see that, it’s hard to unsee it — in yourself and in organizations.
My Big Aha!
To learn how to facilitate someone else’s ITC journey, we first had to wrestle with our own. At the time, I was starting to plan for a second child, so I set myself a deceptively simple Column 1 improvement goal: eat healthier, consistently, to sustain my energy and long-term health during pregnancy. It wasn’t a radical ambition, but it was real.
Column 2 is where you list the things you do that undermine the goal. Mine read like a food diary written by an honest person: finishing whatever’s on my plate even when I’m full; “rescuing” my toddler’s leftovers; saying yes to hospitality food because I don’t want to be rude; defaulting to quick carbs when I’m tired.
Column 3 is where the magic starts — hidden competing commitments. I realized I’m strongly committed to not wasting food, not being “difficult,” and staying always “ready” for long, unpredictable workdays. In other words: be polite, be grateful, be prepared.
Column 4 is the kicker — the big assumptions powering those commitments. Mine? “If I don’t finish what’s on my plate or accept what’s offered, I’m being wasteful or rude, and people will judge me.” That belief has deep roots in my family story. Loving immigrant parents, sensible frugality, clean plates. Somewhere along the way, “waste not” quietly became “ignore your body’s signals.”
Here’s the part I want to underscore for any leaders reading this: this isn’t a confession booth. It’s a diagnostic. I don’t feel weaker for discovering the belief; I feel more in charge because I can finally work with the actual root cause instead of swatting at symptoms.
Testing the assumption without blowing up my life
ITC invites small, low‑risk tests instead of grand gestures. A few I ran over the following weeks:
The “Polite Decline” test. At a client meeting, I thanked the host and said, “That looks amazing. I’m good for now.” Result: they smiled and moved on. Shocking plot twist — no social exile.
The “Two‑Bite Rule.” If I’m truly hungry, eat two mindful bites, then pause. If I’m not hungry, the food goes back to the plate or into a container. Result: I still enjoy food; I also remember I have agency.
The “Future Me Plate.” I cut automatic portions down by 20% and put the extra in a “future me” container. Result: fewer clean‑plate autopilots, and future me is basically winning at leftovers.
Did I suddenly transform into a kale evangelist? Absolutely not. But the changes stuck because they were aimed at the belief, not the behavior. Once the assumption softened — “people won’t think I’m rude; many won’t notice; health is a form of gratitude” — the behaviors stopped needing so much willpower. That’s the ITC promise in action: don’t fight your mind; retrain it.
What changed for me
Practically, I’m eating with more intention, wasting less (compost is a wonderful invention), and feeling steadier in long days. More importantly, I have a fresh respect for how quickly smart people — myself included — use admirable values (gratitude, thrift, preparedness) to justify habits that no longer serve the goal. Behavior was never the villain. The untested story was.
If you’re curious
If you want to explore your own “plate paradox” — whether it’s food, feedback, delegation, or saying no — I can facilitate an ITC map for you or your team. It’s structured, evidence‑based, and surprisingly humane. Small hinges, big doors. And possibly fewer muffins masquerading as meals.
Next on my mind: how these big assumptions show up in boardroom conversations about risk and speed. That’s where the rubber — and the revenue — meet the road.
